Climate Denial Humour

Top Proven Climate Denials for Everyday Use

Updated on 2023-07-12 by Adam Hardy

Nobody asked for climate change and global warming, melting ice caps and rising sea levels. Which climate denial can you relate to? Here are my top denials, ranked by order of daftness on a Douglas Adams scale.

  1. Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese Communist Party, the Club of Rome and a satanic pizza-eating paedophile alien abduction cult.
  2. CO2 does not cause global warming, it makes plants grow.
  3. This global warming is a totally natural phenomenon caused by the Grand Solar Minimum.
  4. It’s a geological fact that Earth’s North and South poles are about to flip, at which point global warming will be the least of our worries.
  5. We are overdue for another Ice Age, so thank God for global warming or we would all be frozen under ice 4 miles thick.
  6. Look at the weather outside your window! It just proves how unpredictable the climate is.
  7. Climate action would be worse than lockdown so why even try?
  8. The <<insert climate science here>> is so error-prone, it means we wouldn’t know whether we had succeeded in averting climate change anyway.
  9. Al Gore said climate change would kill us all by 2010.
  10. This climate doom stuff is just neg-head pessimism. The world is actually getting better all the time – look at the stats for the number of children killed in napalm bombings every year.
  11. I don’t worry about the climate and I won’t care until I am completely shafted by some major event inarguably caused by climate change.
  12. I am compelled by human nature to do what everybody else does – and it’s not like it will really be the end of the world, it’ll just be a bit shit and mostly on TV.
  13. I get dire premonitions of catastrophe but nobody is going to vote to do anything about it until it’s too late.
  14. Yes it’s an impending disaster and the government has got to do something about it – as long as I get to vote against it
  15. Why should we do anything when the Chinese will fry the planet anyway?

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